In two days it will be my 3rd anniversary. Of what, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Although, I have to preface this by saying this is not a subject I'd normally talk about in such a public arena. But seeing how this is my blog, and I can choose to do whatever the hell I want with it, I'm sharing. Because sharing is caring. At least that's what Odum tells me. And it's not like all my friends don't already know... they're all painfully aware of the impending date.
So yes, it's my third anniversary. Of what? No sex. Yes, you heard me correctly. I haven't had sex in three years as of Sunday. And I'm sooo not ok with it. Believe me, it's not for lack of wanting it. That's certainly not the case. It's more because of the lack of opportunity. In case you haven't noticed, I don't date much. Or at all, for that matter. If going on one date per year qualifies as dating, then I don't know what planet you're living on. Apparently, not mine.
Maybe I'm sharing this because I'm feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it's because I'm hoping someone out there knows a fabulous single guy who would be perfect for me. I really don't know. Maybe I'm subconciously trying to push away any opportunity of ever having sex again. Because that's what I feel like right now. Like I'm never getting any. ever. again. This isn't meant to be a pity party. I just thought I'd share my feelings with y'all.
Here's the thing. I don't just want random, meaningless sex. I want sex with someone that I have feelings about. We don't necessarily have to be in a relationship, but I'm not really the kind of girl who is ok with spreading her legs for any guy who shows interest (although sometimes I wish I was... then I wouldn't be in the position I'm in). Maybe I'm asking too much. Maybe not.
I'm sure if I looked like the pin-up in the picture above, I'd have no problem finding a man. But seeing as how I don't, it's a bit more of a challenge. Another challenge is that I live in the great state of Utah. For those of you who live here, you know what I'm talking about. For the rest of you, I'll explain. I live in Mormon-Country. And I am not one. And I don't want to date anyone who is because of essential differences. So it makes it really hard to find normal, single, non-religious guys without too much baggage (i.e., ex-wives and children). Or they're all gay. Which is surprising considering where I live.
Anyhoodle.... the moral of the story is I. NEED. SEX. and I need it soon. Or I might internally combust. And that wouldn't be pretty. I'm going to start getting bitchy if I don't get some soon!
Update: I do this all the time. I associate the anniversary with my brother's ex-girlfriend's birthday (just go with me here). I always think her birthday is in April, but in all actuality, it's in May. So I'm 2 years and 11 months... not actually 3 years, yet. But I can pretty much guarantee the three year mark will come and go without incident. Of course, I'll let you know otherwise. Or maybe I won't.... I don't know...
13 comments:
I know how you feel about not wanting to sleep with just anyone. Don't worry, it will get better. Maybe you should move to where there are better men? ;)
...um...er...ah...
awww. sorry hon. it hasn't been three years...but sadly i can't remember the last time i had sex.
Oh yeah, hello??? You do need it and go and get it asap!!!
But I happened to learn a few weeks ago that one of my clients at work that she hasn't had sex with her husabnd for 20 years!!! She's kind of old now, but I think she misses it because you know.. 20 years is a long time not to have it..It's sad.
Therefore, go and get it!!!
Also, I just want to thank you for supporting me while in crisis last week. It meant a lot to me... Thank so much! xoxo
Totally know where you are on this one. My longest celibate time was four years....and it wasn't necessary at all. After my divorce (see I told you we needed to catch up) my friends made me sign up for a dating service. I used Match.com. Now I didn't find what I was looking for, but I did make some friends and have a couple of short relationships. I'm done with Match now and might try a different service, but for the six months that I was on it, I gained a lot of confidence back.
I think for the moment though, you are going to have to really put yourself out there to get what you need.
SB - I've thought about moving but I'm really close with my family. And Auri might kill me!
Captain - Yeah, I know.
Jaime - You're married... there's no reason to NOT be having sex!
Maki - Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to put myself out there. It's just really hard!
Debbie - I've never had luck with the online dating crap, yet I just signed up for one again. I guess we'll see what happens. And yes, we need to catch up!
that's what i thought too. unfortunately, it's not the reality of my life
hey girl..
that sounds really tough. but i love that you have high standards for yourself, though. don't just give in. i know there's a guy out there for you. i mean, you can meet them everywhere. however, in this rut, i know it can seem like it will never end. but please stay positive. it'll come your way very soon, i'm sure!
Ok, so I am going to be the big ho bag commenter amongst all those in the peanut gallery. Erica, JUST FIND SOMEONE AND HAVE SEX!!! Seriously, it doesn't mean that you have low standards or that you don't respect yourself. You have a need that needs to be filled, right? Just have a one night stand-you will have no inhibitions, you will not be self conscious, you will be amazed at how fun and freeing it can be! Now I am not a big skank and have only had 2 myself, but they both came at a time where I needed it-mentally, physically, emotionally. I have never, ever regretted my 2 one night stands.
Now that being said, you are who you are and you have standards-I get it. Everyone has standards. But seriously, if you CRAVE a chocolate bar, you eat one. If you are DYING for a vacation, you take one. If you MUST HAVE a new purse, pair of shoes, makeup, etc., you buy it. Erica, YOU NEED SEX. GO HAVE IT!
Jaime - Get your mojo goin' and get some!
Kacy - Thanks for the reassurance. I'm working on it. Hopefully it'll happen sooner than later!
Elisha - I love you. Seriously. I've thought about the one-night stand thing, but don't know if I could ever do it. I guess we'll find out if the opportunity ever presents itself. That's the thing. I'm not necessarily against it, I'm just never given the opportunity!
Dude... you're not moving anywhere to find a man. Just so all of our readers know... there are plenty of never-mos (non-mormons) in Salt Lake these days so you aren't allowed to use that excuse anymore. I'm with you though... and I've already told you that I'm going to make it my goal in life to help you find some nookie. I'm with the woman above... you just need to get over the one night stand thing and have some sex... then work on the relationship stuff. You're complicating matters by trying to have both. otherwise jump ship and go for the mormon men. Like you said... there are plenty;)
Erica my darling... you are one sexy bitch! You could get it any time you want it!
I agree with Elisha... go get ya' some! And walk into it KNOWING that it is just a fun one-nighter... no strings allowed and You will never talk to him again. It will be empowering... trust me! :) Three cheers for the Ho Bags!
PS- Just pretend he is Edward... it will be AMAZING!
I keep trying to teach Erica to stop having morals but to no avail. If anything I learned from my friend, Elisha (above) "a free piece is a free piece." Everyone needs the experience of at least one, one night stand in their lifetime. Listen to all of these smart ladies my friend and go for it.
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