Talk About Uncomfortable

Went to the Bayou last night with the Vegas group. Mark was in town from New York so we all got together for a beer and some dinner. I'll post some pics when I upload them later. As we were sitting at our table, I happened to look up, and who did I see Yeah, the two dudes that were there last week. The one that ate the crawfish and his buddy that I gave my number to. Yeah, the one that never called. And we made eye contact last night. Squirm much? And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't put myself out there!

Raw

I'm laying everything on the table with this post, so read ahead at your own risk. I was hesitant to write this and tell you so much about myself, but then I figured, "What the hell!" This is me. This is who I am, and I'm not afraid to hide it.

I was laying in bed reading last night when my mom hollered down the stairs at me. My brother had just called and told her the news. A friend of his that he's known since he was about 6 or 7 years old committed suicide. For those of you who know my brother, it wasn't someone he spent a ton of time with, but a good friend, nonetheless. His friend's name is also Zak, so the guys called him by his last name, Marold.

I guess my brother and his buddies were hanging out on Wednesday night at Jake's house. I'm not entirely sure who all the roommates are, but I know Jake, Marold and at least one or two other guys live in that house. While everyone was still there on Wednesday night, Marold went to his room while the rest of the guys continued hanging out til they all went home or went to bed.

Last night around 5 PM, Jake heard Marold's dogs scratching at his door so he went to let them in (or out, I'm not entirely sure). When he opened the door he saw Marold's hand, which was purple, and immediately called 911. Apparently Jake had enough sense about him not to look any further and that's all he saw because Marold had hung himself.

As soon as my mom told me this last night I started crying. I couldn't tell you the last time I saw Marold. It may have been while he and my brother were playing football when they were 10 years old. I cried because I felt so bad that he felt the need to end his life. But more importantly, I feel horrible for Jake. And I feel horrible for my brother and all of their friends.

Know that what I'm about to say next is extremely raw, and may be viewed as cold and without understanding. But also know that I will explain myself, so don't give up on me.

I'm hurting for Jake. That kid is one of the coolest kids I know. And he's one of the best friends my brother has had. He'd do anything for anyone. And the fact that he now has to deal with the aftermath of finding his friend dead is something that NO ONE should ever have to do. It's not fair.

I am extremely angry. I'm angry because Marold chose to end his life. I'm angry because he was selfish. I'm angry because he couldn't stop long enough to think about his family... or his friends... or the person who would find him. I think suicide is without a doubt, the most extremely selfish act that any one person can commit.

I don't know what the circumstances in Marold's life were. I don't know what drove him to this point. I don't know if he had a good support network. I don't know if he even knew what was going on in his head. I do know that if he had asked, or sought help, he would have gotten it.

I'm not coming at this from a religious standpoint, or the standpoint of a big sister, or the standpoint of a friend. I'm coming at this from the standpoint of someone who has been there. I know what it feels like to hurt so much, so deeply down inside your soul, that death seems like the only way to make the pain go away. I know. I've spent more than one or two months of my life feeling that way. But you know what? Everytime I had one of those unbelievable thoughts, the next thing that popped into my mind was how much my death would hurt my family and friends. And not just my death, but the fact that I had chosen to take my own life. How could I, with any conscience, end my life without any regard to those who love me?

Let me explain a few things. A few years ago (I think it was about three and a half) I went through the worst bout of depression in my life. I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager, if not long before that. I've been on medication for it since I was about 19 or 20, and know that I will never be able to function without it. During those couple of months that Fall, yes, I had thoughts about dying, but I never had a plan. That's what differentiates those from the individuals that end up in the psychiatric units in the hospitals. I thought about dying, but I didn't have a plan to end my life. My thoughts were more centered around "what ifs." What if I fell down the stairs and broke my neck? What if I got in a really bad car accident? What if I took too many pills? What if I didn't make that turn and drove my car off a cliff? And as soon as those thoughts passed through my head, I thought of my family. I decided I couldn't be that selfish, no matter how much I hurt.

I understand that there are those suffering from mental illness far worse than the worst that I've ever suffered. I also know how horrible it feels to be in the midst of it and feel like there is no escape or hope or anything that could possibly make you feel better. But I always had the presence to consider others before I considered myself. I guess that's what sets me apart, and why I'm alive. (God, this is getting really morbid, sorry!) I still suffer on a daily basis from my depression, but I am taking, and will continue to take the steps necessary to be healthy. It's not easy. It never has been and most likely never will be. But I'm trying. I'm giving it a valiant effort. At least I think I am.

I saw a billboard by my office that made me think. It says, "You'd never say, it's just cancer, get over it." It's an ad for an organization called the Depression Is Real Coalition and I think it's a great message. Mental illness is so looked down upon by our society and it's unacceptable. Mental illness is just as serious, if not more serious than cancer and heart disease and the like. As soon as our society starts understanding and accepting it more, the better off we'll all be.

I'm sad today. I feel bad that my brother has to deal with this. I feel awful for Marold's family. My heart and my prayers go out to all those that loved and cared for him.

Window Shopping and More RPattz

I'm sitting at Starbucks (big surprise) and I'm by the window that is right next to the drivethru. I've decided this is my new favorite spot because I get to stare at all the hot guys that are going thru the drivethru! Not to mention, the patrons inside the coffee shop, and one of the baristas. But if it's a male barrista, does that make him a barrister? I don't know. I'm not going to take the time to look it up because I don't really care.

So, yeah, guess what I'm doing tonight? I'm going on a date with Odum. And guess where we're going? To a movie. Guess which movie? Yeah, Twilight. Am I that transparent? I told him I'd pay. It's only $1 so I think I can afford it. Maybe I'll make him get money from his sugar daddy to buy us some popcorn! Ha ha ha!

I'd like to give a shout out and a big welcome to the newest followers of my blog (Krystyna, adlibby, Sweetpea, CK Lunchbox, Christine and Joanie). Thanks for stopping by and thinking my boring life is exciting enough for you to keep tabs on. I'm totally flattered!

Wow, this is more random than yesterday's post.... does anyone have any suggestions as to where I might find my future husband? Other than staring through the window here at Starbucks?

Oh, update on my craftiness: I am slooooowly working on crocheting my scarf. I've been so wrapped up in my books that I haven't spent a lot of time on it recently. But I'm still working, and it's starting to get long. I'm about halfway through my 2nd skein of yarn. I made a fleece blanket for Aidan two weekends ago, and now I have to make one for Tristan. He hasn't threatened me yet, so there's no fire under my ass to get it done. He's a big boy, he can wait.

I was watching the local "let's get a group of 4 or 5 gorgeous women together, sit them around a table, and have a talk show about random shit" morning show last week and they were showing a segment on how to decorate lamp shades. I decided that will be the next project I'm going to take on. It looked way fun, totally easy, and super cute. It's definitely on the list now. All I have to do is buy a cheap lamp (thrift store) and buy the supplies to decorate it. I'll show y'all when I'm done.

Um, so, yeah, I can't get over the song on the Twilight soundtrack by RPattz himself. It's hot. And sexy. And makes me want to cry a little. Kind of like him. I read somewhere that he wants to leave a music career on the back burner (as in not pursue it much right now) in case the acting thing doesn't work out. Well guess what? The acting thing is working out, so maybe you work on a music career in your downtime. Say, in between the time you finish filming New Moon and the time you have to start promoting it. That's totally enough time, right? All I know is that if I ever get to London (or the surrounding area) that I will do everything in my power to see him perform in one of those cute little pubs they said he performs in from time to time. Are you still with me? I realize I've probably lost a few of you by now... it's the obsession talking, I'm sorry, I have no control over it.

Ok, I guess I'll wrap it up. So much for not having anything to write about... Sorry I'm losing my mind. I'll try to find it over the weekend and return with all my marbles!

Obsessed? Me? Never!

Once again, I'm going to apologize to those of you who have read the countless other blog posts (or avoided them altogether) regarding the Twilight saga. However, I've given y'all fair warning, so here comes my review of New Moon. Not sure why I'm doing a review, because I didn't actually do a review for Twilight, but continuing on with the theme of the week...

I finished Twilight on Friday night and debated whether or not to open it right back up and start over again. Yes, that's how much it resonated with me. The other reason I debated was because I'd heard that Edward wasn't much in the second book, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to read the story without him in it. I gave in, opened New Moon, and read the first 100 pages that night. So much for not wanting to open it. I spent a lot of the weekend reading and by Monday I had about 165 pages to go. Yesterday I went to grab a sandwich and thought I'd read a bit while I was waiting for it. Naturally, I got to the part where Jacob answered the phone at Bella's house (I won't say more b/c I'm not a spoiler) when my sandwich was ready and I had to get back to work. Hello! I'm at a pivotal point in the story, people! I need more TIME! So what did I do? I sat in my car at the office for another 5 minutes trying to get through as much as possible. When I realized I wasn't going to get through it in the next 10 minutes, I put it away and went back to work. I absolutely COULD NOT WAIT to get home and read more.
As soon as I got home, I went into the living room and started reading, read more when I was over at Auri's house, then finished the book when I got in bed last night. I wanted to get through as much of it as soon as possible because, as I already said before, Edward isn't in the majority of it. As soon as I got to the part where he reappeared, I was content to read at a more leisurely pace! I've heard all the talk about Team Edward vs. Team Jacob, and if I'm forced to pick sides, I'm totally going with Team Edward. Yeah, Jacob is a cool kid, but COME ON! A vampire who is immortal, is gorgeous, has professed his undying love for me, and is just plain old freakin' HOT... or Jacob? I'm going with the vampire.

So yeah, I liked New Moon, but I liked Twilight better... for obvious reasons. Edward, anyone? Noelle told me that Eclipse was just as good as Twilight so I can't wait to get into it. I think I'll read it a little slower so as to drag the story out as long as I can. I resisted the urge to crack open Eclipse last night, but you can bet your asses I've already got some reading in today!

Random Tuesdayness

I read Chad aka Captain Dumbass's Random Tuesday Thoughts blog over at Us and Them and thought I'd do one of my own. I think I've got a lot to chat about today. Here's what he has to say about Random Tuesdays:

"Random Tuesday is a post to get rid of all the garbage your head has collected for the week and make people question your sanity. Or reassure them that they're not as bad off as they'd thought. It's almost a public service, really." (This was actually from a guest post he did on a friend's blog). ANYWAY...

Had lunch today with the latest addition to our team, Pat. She's awesome. I love working with her. We went to Tres Hombres, she paid and said she'd expense it. Sweet! Now that I've had Mexican food for lunch, I've overloaded on salt and am craving chocolate. So, I'm eating M&Ms, or Yum Yums as the kids call them. Yum Yums and a glass of water for my afternoon snack... very nutritous and delicious.

I'm severely questioning my sanity this week. I told y'all how I bought the soundtrack to Twilight the other day, right? Right. (That was after I saw the movie twice in two days.) Well, I can't stop listening to it. I did listen to Garbage's "Absolute Garbage" album in between, but I'm back to the soundtrack. Odum wants to stage an intervention for me. I won't let it happen. He thinks he should call my therapist to have her help "them" with the intervention. So far, he's the only one involved and I think I can overpower and take him by myself. And, she's read the series so she'd totally understand my obsession. So there!

I'm totally pissed off right now. For some reason, the Colts, or Tony Dungy, or someone decided it was time for Coach Dungy to retire without consulting me. What the hell?! Seriously? He's the best coach of all time (ok, maybe not of all time, but at least during my life). Now, I read that they're getting ready to release Harrison. Excuse the eff out of me? I don't think so. What will Manning do without his Harrison? This is blasphemy! This is sooo not ok. I need my boys to do well next season. This is not helping MY needs. Whatev!

I finished New Moon last night (review to follow shortly). I went home and read for a while and then went to Auri's house. She just wanted to chill, so I read and she blogged. That was in between and after screaming at the children and shooing them off to bed. And then we had to lotion-down Aidan because of his poor eczema. We were a bundle of excitement, let me tell ya. Oh well, I guess that's what being an HLP is about. (Just in case you're new to the blog and don't know about being an HLP, I'll fill you in... Auri and I consider ourselves to be more than just best friends. More like sisters. So we call ourselves each other's Heterosexual Life Partner... it works.) I thought I'd posted the story behind the story about the HLP thing. Guess that will have to be a new post.

So, continuing on with my psychosis, I love the Twilight soundtrack. It's got great music on it, all very different, yet catchy. There's a song on it by Iron & Wine called Flightless Bird, American Mouth (don't ask, I didn't write it). I love the song and I hate to admit it because this was the favorite band of a guy I dated about a year and a half ago, who I might add, was a complete idiot... and so, you know how when someone you've dated/broken up with/just don't like that much, likes something... you want nothing to do with it. Well yeah, that's where I'm at, I hate to love it... except this is the song that plays while they're dancing at the end, and I just can't get over it. Oh, well. Whatev! I have more important things to fret over.

Let's see, how much more neurotic and random can I get? Are you questioning my sanity yet? I hope this doesn't scare off any of my new readers, because I would hate to lose you. I'm just trying to follow the spirit of randomness. I think it's working.

Yesterday I booked our (mine and Noelle's) room for San Fran. I'm so excited for our trip... I can't wait... drinking, shopping, drinking, eating, drinking, sightseeing, drinking, cab rides, drinking, dancing, drinking... you get the point. I had a countdown a few weeks ago, but I lost track... let's see... 86 days to go! Woo hoo! If you want to read about last year's trip, you can click here for the posts. I was just reading them myself... and I'm laughing. We had so much fun.

Ok, I think this is enough insanity for today. My New Moon review will be up later today, I hope. Love you all!

Since When Do I Have Values? I Feel So Loved!

I'd like to thank Jen over at Because I Could Never Keep Up With A Diary for this award. She's so sweet!

This award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day.

The rules to follow are:
1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person that has granted the award and his or her blog link.
2) Pass the award to another 15 blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I don't think I'll pass it on to 15 because that's just way too many... so here are my 5!

Country Wife
Mistress Auri
Saskia
Beanie Cap Guy
Just An Everyday Bitch

For Little Ole Me?

Thanks to PinkNik for the Cute Blog Award. I guess the rules are to pass it along to blogs I think are cute... so here goes.


Mistress Auri
Newlywed Central
The Republic of Brooke
Country Wife
Saskia


And don't forget to check out my latest post over on my Makeup Blog! Thanks!

It's Official - I'm Obsessed!

For those of you who have had to read countless posts (and other commentary) about Twilight, I apologize now for being so late to hop on the bandwagon and for the fact that this post is entirely dedicated to it.

A few days ago I wrote a post about how I finally gave in and started reading Twilight after having finished my other vampire books, due to withdrawals or something like that. And now it has become official; I have become obsessed/am completely neurotic/have lost my effing mind about Edward and Bella. OMG! Had I known how in love I'd fall with these characters, I would have stood in line in the pouring rain/sleet/snow/hurricane-force winds to buy each of the books and see the movie! It's officially official... I've lost it!
I started reading Twilight last Sunday and finished it on Friday night. It was a bit hard to get into it (like the first 30 pages) but after that, I couldn't put it down. On Thursday I decided I better buy New Moon (the next book in the series) knowing that I'd need it in the next few days. Once I get started on a series, I won't stop. Holy mother of God, I can't even begin to explain my obsession. I'm obviously trying since I've said that 42 times since I started this post, but seriously, I don't know if anyone will ever understand. Just wait, it gets better.
I knew I was going to finish the book by Friday, and I planned to see the movie sometime over the weekend (I actually thought it had already come out on video - have no fear, I'll wait in line for that). My friend Tracie had commented on my last post about Twilight and warned me "not to pollute my mind," with seeing the movie. I thank her for watching out for my best interests, however, I wanted to see it, just because the obsession was building and I needed something to fuel the fire. Whenever a movie comes out about a book I've read, I want to see it, even though I always plan on it being a let-down. Plus, Bella and Edward are effing gorgeous (and so is the story, seriously) and I had to see them on the big screen before the movie was out of theaters.

Noelle said she'd go to the movie with me on Saturday, but we couldn't find a time that worked for both of us. So what did I do? I went, for the first time, to a movie by myself. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal because, c'mon, the movie has been out for months and it wouldn't possibly be crowded. Hell, I was surprised it was still playing in the theater. So, by the time I found parking and got my popcorn (cuz y'all know how I love popcorn) I had about 1 minute to spare before the movie actually started. And when I walked into the theater, it was packed. Seriously? I finally found a seat had to sit a bit closer than I would have liked, but I was totally fine with it. I went to see the movie for comparison's sake and with absolutely no expectations - except that I was going to hate it. I don't think you can imagine my absolute surprise, when about halfway through the movie, I had yet to be disappointed. In fact, I totally got lost in it and was all out of sorts when it was over! Aside from all the little things that couldn't be incorporated into the movie, I thought it was great. Yeah, there were a few changes, and a few things I would have liked to see (like more kissing, because who are we kidding if we don't say that the kissing scene as seen in the above picture, wasn't the hottest kissing scene you've ever witnessed?) but all in all, it was pretty spot-on, and I loved it! I can now officially say that I totally understand where all the rest of you crazies are coming from! How the hell did I not understand the intensity of this incredible story? Whew! Is it getting hot in here, or is it me? I think both. I'm officially now one of the crazy girls who can't get enough. Want proof? I went to see the movie again yesterday. Yes, I saw the movie twice in two days. Oh wait, it gets better. The second time around I was able to pay more attention to the music, and fell in love with it. So what did I do? Oh yeah, I went to Target (as it was really the only place open on a Sunday night in Utah that sells music) to buy the soundtrack. I also saw Eclipse was on sale, so I bought that, too. I have to have the next book on hand for when I finish the current one. I told you, I've lost my effing mind.

When I got home, I was happy to see Mr. Hottie Pants himself (aka Robert Pattinson) present a segment on the Oscars last night. He looked good... which sadly, isn't always the case. I was happy to see him, although it just fueled more of my neuroses. I decided to forego watching the Oscars in place of reading more of New Moon. I got through 200 pages last night, although, I was up til 1 AM reading, damnit! I have to get through this book so I can have more Edward! Now, do me a favor, and don't tell me ANYTHING about ANYTHING in the upcoming books. I don't want any spoilers. I want to find out for myself!

And who wants to go see a movie tonight?

Auri and I Are In a Fight

I was leaving Auri's house the other night after we'd gone to the Bayou, and as I walked out the front door, Jack the kitty bolted. He has a tendency to do that... he likes to go out, roll around on the driveway, and go back in the house. She was trying to reel him back in the house claiming she didn't feel well and didn't want to have to chase him down. As I got down the stairs, Jack went back inside and Auri said something to the effect of, "And I don't want Tata to run you over." Rude! I know. That's why we're in a fight. (Not a real fight, of course, but a minor pretend fight).

The Big Huge and Lack of Motivation

Have you ever had a day, or a week, for that matter, where you want to do nothing more than read 24 hours a day? Or sleep? Or do anything but what you're supposed to be doing? Well I'm having one of those weeks... and it sucks! I've got about 75 pages of Twilight to go and I want to finish it. I want to blog. I want to crochet. I want to decorate a lamp shade (I saw it on TV earlier and that's going to be my next craft project). I want to take a nap. I can't seem to bring myself to focus on anything long enough to complete it (speaking only of the actual work I'm supposed to do for my job)! Oh well, I have all weekend, right? And Noelle has a paper to write, so she said she'd help me be productive... I'm holding her to it. After I take a nap!

On a completely unrelated note, Auri got the lava lamp out of the guest house last week and brought it inside to see if it still worked. The "lava" was kind of frozen and congealed into a giant clump, but they turned it on to see if it would come to life. After a few hours, the congealy grossness disintegrated and amazingly, it worked. The kids are all completely entertained and in awe of it. Taryn has decided to call it "The Big Huge." I don't know where she got it but I nearly burst out laughing every time I think of it!

Does This Really Need a Title?

I just saw this on a friend's Facebook page and was cracking up.... so here it is for y'all to enjoy... and hopefully laugh at.

Lily Allen

I came across Lily Allen in 2007 and fell in love with her. She just released a new album last week and I bought it on Tuesday night. It's called "It's Not Me, It's You!" Dontcha love it? Thus far, I love the whole album, but I have to say, my favorite song on the cd is called Fuck You. It's great. I'm not going to post it on here (for obvious reasons), and I considered posting the lyrics, but thought better of it. So, here's the link to the page where you can read the lyrics. Give it a listen. It's hilarious and oh so true!

Beer, Crawdads, and Men

Auri and I didn't get to play on Tuesday night because she ended up with another migraine. We IM'ed each other throughout the day yesterday and decided we'd play later in the day. We're usually content just sitting around, watching TV, yelling at the kids, and blogging on each of our laptops. But last night we decided to go to The Bayou for the second time this week. We also went on Sunday night after I picked her up from work. (I guess we've both been a bit restless lately.) The place was busier than either of us expected so we put our name down for a table (expecting a friend or two were going to join us) and pulled up one stool at the bar. That's all that was available. I sat, she stood. Isn't she a nice heterosexual life partner? We sat down next to a group of three (2 guys and a girl), and the guy closest to us apologized, but said he wasn't giving up his seat because he was too drunk. We told him he was fine. We ordered our beers and were chit chatting when the dude and his friends had a plate of crawdads delivered to them. For those of you who don't know me well, I don't eat fish. I'm allergic to shellfish, and the thought of eating any of it disgusts me. This group didn't know how to go about eating their crawdads, so the bartender and Auri both gave them pointers. Our buddy (his name is Mario) broke the little crustacean in half and sucked the stuff out of the head. (Yes, I know that sounds dirty, but it's not meant to be.) I was sitting there with a fairly disgusted look on my face as Mario turned and looked at me. He asked me what the problem was and I just laughed. So what did Mario do? He proceeded to stuff the WHOLE EFFING CRAWDAD - SHELL AND ALL, in his mouth... and chewed, and chewed, and chewed... until he swallowed it. I'm not kidding when I say I was trying my hardest not to dry heave, or rally on the bar.
We sat there for a while longer (me trying not to dry heave) and talked to Mario, and of course, talked amongst ourselves, and the hostess finally came to seat us. We got a great table at the back of the bar with a great vantage point and ordered some food and more beer (for me, Aurs was driving). Auri told me that I should give Mario my number (as he was really hot, and was very flirty) but I wasn't sure. I didn't feel like he was flirting with me necessarily, and was unsure of myself. Plus, I'm sick and effing tired of being rejected, so I had to ponder for a while. Their group ended up coming to the back of the bar and playing pool right by us, so we talked with them a little more as they played. The girl left a while later, and we invited the boys to come sit with us after they finished their game. We came to discover that Mario is a nut, but his friend was cute, so I asked Auri how funny it would be if I gave my number to the unsuspecting friend instead. He's more my type anyway... at least I think he is, but what the hell do I know?

So we chatted for a while, laughed, I finished my beer, and then we had to leave to go get Auri's hubby. On our way out, I gave Chad (the friend) a napkin with my name and number on it, and told him if he wanted to call, he knew where to find me! I'll let you know if I hear from him! And just FYI, the picture above is of my new favorite beer... Ayinger ur Weiss Hefeweizen. Yum!

She's Come Undone

I changed the look of the blog again. Maybe it's my subconcious way of keeping my readers guessing, coming back, and wanting more. Maybe it's just my neuroses. Either way, I have a new background... again. Hope I don't throw you off too much!

I Gave In

Remember how I told you (a few months ago) that I may have a slight (read: massive) obsession with the new show True Blood, on HBO? Well, the obsession took over and I bought the first book (that the series is based on), got addicted, and subsequently bought the other 7. (They're technically called the Southern Vampire Series, or Sookie Stackhouse novels). I started reading the books in October and just finished the last one on Sunday. I think I've taken my sweet time with them because I got so wrapped up with the characters that I didn't want the books to end. Well, my life was threatened if I didn't finish the last book (so that I may discuss it with the girls at the nail salon I go to) and I stubbornly finished it, finally. So there, Kersten!

Anyway... I've been aware of all the hype surrounding the Twilight series, partly because everyone and their dog has read it, and because the author is (or was) from Utah and went to one of our Universities. I've been hesitant to read the books because I knew there wouldn't be any great sex like there was in the other novels. And come on, we all need a dose of good sex whether we're participating or just reading about it. I've also been hesitant because I knew the books were written for adolescents and I just wasn't interested in them.

I don't know if it was my grief in finishing the Sookie books, or if I was just so curious that I couldn't hold out anymore, but I finally gave in, and started reading Twilight. I'm a sell-out, I know, but it's good, damnit, so leave me alone. It may be that I know the premise of the book and I want to know details, or that I'm just now obsessed with vampires, but I can't put the book down. I'm halfway through it and hope to have it finished in the next couple of days. I'll let you know my verdict when I'm done!

I'm Done!

I started my day by getting up early (which is difficult to do after a three day weekend, and the fact that I get to work from home this week). I got ready (half-way) and drove to the office to print and make copies of the agenda and accompanying documents for the status meeting this morning. I turned on my computer and about 15 minutes later, I had the damn pages printed. That should have been my first sign. From there, I got in my car and drove to the Department of Health downtown for our meeting that was to start at 8:30. It had started snowing pretty hard while I was fighting with my computer, so the drive was a dream! Got to the meeting a couple minutes late, took minutes, left the building and went to Starbucks to work. Worked for an hour and a half, and then left to go to the dentist (see post below) to get two cavities filled. Oh joy! That was over after 30 minutes and I drove to Porcupine Grill to have a bowl of soup with my mum. Not an easy feat when half your mouth is numb. From there, I ran home to change my clothes, and as I pulled into the driveway, my effing garage door opener was gone. I figured it had to have fallen out of my car at some point during the morning as I used it to close the garage when I left this morning. I didn't think much of it and drove over to Starbucks to do some work. In the meantime, I called the dentist's office to see if anyone had turned one in, and Becca was nice enough to walk outside and look for me. No such luck. I called Starbucks (the one I was at earlier in the day) and they had nothing. Called the jeweler next door to Starbucks... nothing. He even looked outside for me as well. I figured I had no choice but to drive back out to Health Department and look. I had no way to contact the front desk there, so I figured I'd just save myself the frustration and drive out there. So yeah, I drove out there. Nothing. And guess what I saw on the floor of the PASSENGER SIDE FLOOR of the car??? My EFFING GARAGE DOOR OPENER!!!! How the hell did it get over there? I figured it fell out of my car... I didn't figure it flew across the car. Went back to the Starbucks to do some work after my 30 mile round trip... and guess what? The cute boy I have a crush on was there with HIS GIRLFRIEND! Seriously? So, Auri was having issues and she came over to say hi. We were supposed to hang out tonight, but she got another migraine (poor girl) so she headed back home. I got home, talked to Odum and told him about Aurs. We decided to run her some migraine drugs, then got to FYE and grab some food. We ate at The Pie, and as we got up to leave, there was gum stuck to the front of my shirt. One of my favorite shirts, I might add. Then I got home, my dad was downstairs walking on the treadmill, and he had changed the TV channel THAT I WAS TIVO'ING THE BIGGEST LOSER ON!!! So I missed the last however many minutes of my show. Haven't I dealt with enough shit today? I pay for my TiVo. This is My Area. Don't fuck with my chi!

The Only Time I Don't Like My Dentist...

Is when he has to do more than just a cleaning. And that's where I'm headed now... to have a couple of cavities filled. Yuck! That means I'll have a numb face/mouth for the next four hours or so. Not my idea of a fun afternoon.

Sorry I've been MIA for the last few days. I've been crafting, planning the 2nd annual trip to SF, and reading, a lot. Oh, and tending to my sick BFF Noelle. I'll post lots later... just wanted you to know I'm not dead.

Ring Doorbell for Gift Certificates

On Saturday night I went to dinner with Rose and Noelle. I wanted to stay home, make Valentine's Day cards and not spend money, but Rose had been dealing with her uncle's funeral that day, and Noelle had attended two funerals, so I thought I'd oblige them and go to dinner. Plus, who am I to turn down going out? We went to the Bombay House for Indian food. I'd only been there once when they were at the old location, so I was excited to try it again. The restaurant moved a few years back, and they're now in an old Outback Steakhouse building. They've redecorated, but the seating is still the same, and it still has the hardwood floors, so it looks kind of silly. Anyway, we had a great dinner and when we left I noticed this outside the front door of the restaurant. It's a little sign with a buzzer below it that says, "Ring doorbell for gift certificates," and I thought it was kind of comical. Does one merely ring the buzzer and they're handed a gift certificate through some trap door mechanism? Does an employee come outside to help you? Not exactly sure how it works, but it's funny, nonetheless!

Call Me Martha Effing Stewart

Can you possibly handle any more of my crafty creations? If not, leave now and don't read anymore. If so, then read on because another craft project is comin' at ya!
And I'm apologizing ahead of time to those who receive Valentines from me, cuz I'm posting the pictures of them before I give you the cards. Oh well, I guess you'll just have to get over it! If not, I can keep them! The picture above is of the envelope. I just stamped it. Nothing fancy. The picture below is of the actual card.

I love to make cards (and occasionally scrapbook) but I tend to get creativity block when I start a project. I have all these great ideas, and when I sit down to start, I can't come up with anything. It's really quite annoying. Hopefully after I get some more of the basics, it will be easier for me to create masterpieces from scratch!

This is the inside of the card. A cute little quote from Chalmers. I thought is was appropo for V-Day, don't you think? I actually love Valentine's Day, although I've only really ever had a man in my life for three of them. Maybe it's the hopelss romantic in me? In any case, at least I can put my pain and suffering to good use and make cards for everyone else!

No, It's NOT A Carry-On

This tag has been going around a lot of the blogs I read. I haven't been tagged, but I'm joining in the fun anyway.

Here are the rules:

1. Post a picture of whatever bag you are carrying as of late. No, you can't go into your closet and pull out your favorite purse! We want to know what you carried today or the last time you left the house.

2. List how much it cost. And this is not to judge. This is for entertainment purposes only. So spill it. And if there is a story to go along with how you obtained it, we’d love to hear it.

3. Tag some chicks. And link back to this post so people know why the heck you’re showing everyone your bag.

This is my current bag. I got it at Dillards while I was in Las Vegas for my birthday a few months ago. It's a Guess bag and I think I paid $115 for it. I love it because the strap is really comfortable. it stays on my shoulder, and I can carry everything in it!

There's not really a funny story to go along with it, but I bought it right before I met the asshole at our hotel before we left to come home! I'm glad I don't associate him with it. That would have been a waste of a lot of money!

To make things a bit more interesting, I've included some of the contents from inside the purse. Let's see... gloves; a Jesus Saves coin purse; BlackBerry; iPod; MAC blot powder; keys; lotion; one of many pens; chapstick; jump drive; pocket knife; eclipse mints; Dior lip gloss; wallet; card wallet; two cosmetic bags; flower coin purse, and usually my camera. (I think I got it all!)

And here are the contents from inside the rectangular cosmetic bag. Yes, I carry a lot of lip stuff. Mostly MAC products, and Benefit Lip Plump. (It's not a plumper so much as a lip foundation). I actually have another cosmetic bag with about 20 other pieces of lip stuff in it, but I finally took it out cuz the bag is so damn heavy. I just never know what color concoction I'll be in the mood for. A girl has to be prepared, right?

Ok, so I'm tagging my girls:

Auri

Noelle

Jessica

Elisha

Brooke

Country Wife

Saskia

I don't think any of you have already done this, but if you don't want to do it, I'll understand. I might just cry a bit... And if anyone else wants to do it, go for it.... it's kind of amusing!

I Feel So Awful

I'm hoping that maybe by writing about this, I'll somehow start to feel better about what happened. I took Aurs to the ER last night because she was on her 4th day of migraines. On our way back to her house we stopped to get food, and then continued on down State Street. We had just passed under the I-80 overpass and unfortunately, my worst driving fear came true. I hit a kitty. Even as I write this I'm trying not to think about it too hard so I don't start crying again.Initially after it happened, I didn't shed a tear. I think I was in shock, not believing that it really happened. After I left Auri's and was on my way home, I started crying and couldn't stop bawling the whole way. When I walked in the door my mom asked me what was wrong and I burst into tears again. I don't know if I've ever felt so horrible about something before in my entire life! When I drove back past the scene, I didn't see Mr. Kitty in the road, so I'm hoping and praying with all my heart that I just roughed him up a little and that he's ok. I hope. If not, I hope he went quickly because it tears me apart to think that I caused him any pain or suffering.I hope no one thinks any less of me. I seriously want to crawl into a hole right now and not come out for a long time!

**Update: Auri drove by the scene and confirmed the kitty died. :(

You Can Do It

So, continuing on with Craft Week, as I mentioned before, Friday night was yet another craft night. A bunch of us got together because Tom (Auri's dad) was going to teach us all to crochet. Auri tried to teach me once before, but I didn't get very far. My project turned out to be a mess and I gave up on it pretty quickly. Prior to this class we were instructed to go buy a skein or two of natural animal fiber yarn and a crocheting hook. I ran over to the little yarn shop by my office called Soul Spun Yarn and found some great stuff. The owner is a doll and she has so much to choose from! Once we got started on Friday night, Tom helped me wind my skein into a ball on his swift (which is this nifty little contraption that you've probably seen before and didn't know what it was). The picture above is of my ball and my hook. Isn't it a gorgeous color?

One of the ladies that was at the party tried to get me started before Tom had finished helping everyone wind their skeins. Let me just say, she was an awful teacher. Tom eventually had to come sit with his arms around me to show me how it was done. He is the maestro, after all. Once I got passed the first three or four rows, I started to get the hang of it and was just so damn proud of myself!

Angie was able to joins us that night and I'm sooo happy she was able to make it. We always have fun with Angie no matter what we end up doing. Isn't the picture above gorgeous? Miss Noelle was also able to join us after the viewing she had to attend. Hopefully it was a good way for her to wind down a bit. She looked fab, and that's all that really matters, right?

So yeah, we crocheted from about 8:30 to around 1 AM on Friday. Most of the people crocheted a little, came and went, did their thing, but I sat in my chair and solidered on all night. I think I got about ten rows done when it was all over. Not much, I know, but my hands were cramping and going numb so I had to go slow and take breaks. Guess I have to build up some stamina!

I wasn't able to do much on Saturday, maybe two or three rows, but I did at least 3/4 of what you see above yesterday. I had a little extra time on my hands! And now, thanks to Tom, I think I'm addicted. This could be good, or really, really bad. As in, I now have a new hobby, but it could get very, very expensive!