Update: I got an email via Facebook from him about an hour ago. He said his phone hasn't been working and he sent a message to everyone on Facebook to give them his work cell phone number. Obviously, I didn't get it. He said when he didn't hear back from me he figured I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I told him I thought the same thing on my end. What do I do?
Don't tell me that one of the most important things to you is honesty when you have no intention of being honest with me. How is it possible that you can be so absolutely complimentary toward me and tell me how much you like me, and then just stop communicting with me? Why did you feel it was necessary to reel me in and then dump me on the side of the road like it was just a game to you?
I absolutely fucking despise the fact that your actions, or lack thereof, have caused me so much grief. I hate the fact that someone else (read: you) had the power to affect my emotions the way you did. The only person in my life that should have that power is me, and me only. Not a piece of shit like you.
I am floored at your actions. I have no idea how you did a complete 180 after the connection we appeared to have. Apparently that was just me getting my hopes up, letting my guard down, and being a stupid girl who expected waaay too much from someone else. I thought you were different, but I was so very wrong. I thought you and I would be able to enjoy each others' company and see where things went, again, I was wrong.
All I know is that because of you, my opinion of men has once again taken another big hit. There are still the few I know that are actually good guys and would do anything for anybody. You and the rest of the assholes out there like you can kiss my ass.
I think I feel the worst about the fact that I could feel you pulling away two weeks ago and I tried so hard to keep things going. I should have listened to my instincts and walked away without so much as a backwards glance. It's the least I could have done for myself. It's more than you did for me in the short time I knew you.
Don't tell me that one of the most important things to you is honesty when you have no intention of being honest with me. How is it possible that you can be so absolutely complimentary toward me and tell me how much you like me, and then just stop communicting with me? Why did you feel it was necessary to reel me in and then dump me on the side of the road like it was just a game to you?
23 comments:
I'm sorry, Erica. I hate it when men do this too :) I mean we've already so skeptical on men and relationships at it is and in the end it only makes us doubt ourselves more.
You don't deserve this asshole and I hope you feel better soon.
The most frustrating part about dating is the three words men seem to have the hardest time saying, "I'm not interested." How hard is that? Women are not mind readers. We're in our 30's now so you'd think it would be different and men would be more grown up, but that is not the case. You almost expect more maturity from men who have been married and have children, however it doesn't seem to change. Ridiculous. Erica, I'm sorry it didn't work out. You do deserve MUCH better.
That sucks Erica! Tell him to go shit in his hat.
What a loser! You're exactly right though, trust your instincts... it's the hardest thing to do, but the best. A dude should be on you like white on rice trying to make plans, be with you etc. If he's not, kick him to the curb. He should be doing the work, and apparently this dude was making you do it. SO EFF HIM.
I'm sorry this happened to you! You are too nice of a girl! Men suck. I can relate wholehartedly to the post. Especially this line: I hate the fact that someone else (read: you) had the power to affect my emotions the way you did.
Unfortunately, I think all women can relate to this experience. I'm sorry Erica. Who ever he is...he sucks!
Oh, that's a horrible feeling. You feel helpless and upset and pissed off at the guy and even more pissed off with yourself for letting him make you feel like that...yeah, I've been there. Hope you feel better soon. Remember we're all here for you!
Oh boy, have I been there. And it's no fun. I'm sorry he was such a jerk for you. You deserve tons better, obviously.
Next!
I think one of the greatest things about you is that you haven't lost your ability to trust and be vulnerable. How do you know "He's just not that into you" when all of his actions say otherwise?? Who knows... but maybe when you stop looking for a husband and just start having fun with it all... he will come to you? It's possible=) Love you xoxo
Well, you already know what I think! I have to agree with EVERY comment above, especially that you don't deserve this! I love you! I know that doesn't really make it better, but vodka might...
You deserve so much better than be treating like this. I know you know this. You are a beautiful woman, and I can tell by reading this blog you are so much fun even tho you hate coming to Bama. ;)
there are good men out there, but I understand your guard being up
oh hon, i'm sorry! what a dick.
try not to let this ass hole color your impression of all men. hell, if i really thought that my stalker was representative of the entire male gender, i would have turned lesbian, not married hubby and i wouldn't have andrew (who is trying to get on the keyboard and type that not all men suck. just that guy)
Argggghhhh. I hate shit like this. I would say now you have to sit down with him face to face and ask him to tell you the honest truth, whether he is interested or not, whether he really sent you that message or if he was bullshitting. Tell him you are both grown ups and you don't need to waste your time with his games. You're too good for that honey. If he says he just isn't interested, move on to better things. If he says he honestly is into you, then give it another shot.
Good luck, fingers crossed for you sweetheart!
a convenient, yet plausible story. i agree with petra. talk to the guy. good luck
Oh Erica - so sorry to hear about all of it! Whether he's telling the truth or not, it's made you feel like shit and you did not deserve that.
Whether or not he deserves your time or another chance - the non bitter part of me would agree with Petra and Jaime.
Whatever you decide to do - take care of yourself. You're the only one who counts here.
****hugs****
on to the next!
I think Aurs hit the nail on the head. I love the fact that you are willing the jump in and see what happens. And one of these days... the right man is going to find you. Keep the faith! Love ya!
Did he have other ways of contacting you besides Facebook? Like a work phone, home phone, email, etc? I say trust your gut on what you should do. It is rarely wrong.
Good Luck Sweets!
Concerning the update at the top of this post...I think he's bullshitting. This is just my opinion but personally I'd stay away. He's already hurt you once and you don't need that again. He'll keep blowing hot and cold and making you doubt yourself until he turns you insane! Get a man who appreciates you!!
Oh honey. Poor you. I wish I could give you a hug.
His story is plausible... if you want to talk it through with him then do - you don't ever want to think "what if", but you also don't want to spend too much time on someone who isn't worth you...
Perhaps give him a chance to talk with you face to face? One chance only!
Let us know how you get on.
xxx
I am no expert, but can tell you after 10 years of being married to my best friend...there are a few good men out there. And when you meet HIM...it will just work. No games. I am not saying it is always easy...but, it will just work.
You are adorable and someday you will meet the man who will adore you for all you are worth!!!! Love ya babe!
I agree with them all, especially Aurs. Stop looking for a "mate", and start looking for a friend.
It will happen when you least expect it.
Love ya hun.
Andhari - Thanks, I hate dating.
Jess - It's not even the fact that they can't say those words, it's that it takes them so damn long to get around to it.
Mr. C - I'm going to find some shit and throw it at him.
Brooke - What is our lesson here? Always go with your gut! Eff him!
SB - It's the worst when someone else makes you feel like shit!
Cortnee - Yes, he does.
Nic - Exactly! It's so damn frustrating!
Ali - Next, please! And preferably someone who knows how to act like an adult.
Aurs - Thanks. I hate dating. I'm not even looking for a husband... just someone to spend time with, other than all my girlfriends.
Noelle - Vodka is always the answer.
BeautifulWreck - Thanks! And I don't hate 'Bama, just the amount of time it takes to get here!
Jaime - Like I said, tell Andrew he's a sweetheart. It's hard not to get discouraged.
Petra - I was totally willing to sit down and talk it over, but then all the other shit happened, so it's done.
Jaime - I'm with you. Convenient.
Carol - Thank you. I hate this!
Kara - Good plan!
Karen - There is so little faith for me to keep anymore...
Cortnee - Um, yeah, it's called a telephone.
Nic - You're so right. Bullshitters beware! Nic will spot you!
Saskia - Thanks! Now that the "what ifs" are out of my head, I can move along.
Lisa - Can we clone Derek?
Jen - I just don't know how to react anymore other than to be totally bitter and bitchy. To say that I expected this would happen sounds awful, but I did. Did that even make sense?
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