The Ambien Rooster, More To Love and The Deva Fuser

Remember my good friend, the Ambien Walrus? He cracks me up (not that I think drug abuse, hallucinations and murder are funny). I wish I could find more cartoons of him online, but so far, there are only the two I've posted on here before. I took an Ambien last week on Thursday night because I had planned to sleep on the couch (due to the supposed bed bug infestation I thought I had). Jessica had been over earlier in the evening so we could watch the SYTYCD results show, and I told her before she left that I was taking an Ambien. I think (because I can't remember anything these days, and the memory goes straight to hell if I've taken Ambien) when she left she told me to watch out for the Ambien Walrus.

A little while later I received a text from her saying to beware of the Ambien Rooster. I have no idea where the Rooster came from but informed her the correct term would be the Ambien Cock. There have been countless jokes about the Ambien Cock for the last week or so. If you think of any good ones, let me know.Jessica and I have had quite the TV watching marathon this week. She came over on Tuesday night and we watched More To Love on Fox. It's the new reality show that is similar to The Bachelor, but for big people. We were both really excited to watch it, but about halfway through the show, we were both totally annoyed. First of all, not everyone looks good in a dress. Especially really tight dresses that show off way more than everyone else needs to see. The object is to hide the rolls, not flaunt them. Second of all, I cannot stand obnoxious big girls. They're the ones that figure because they're large, they need to be pushy and rude and obnoxious so as not to let others walk all over them... or to get attention... either way, they annoy the hell out of me. Thirdly, we know you've never had a boyfriend and we know you've never been on a date. How is it possible that we know this? Because you told us the first time you introduced yourself and subsequently every time you talk to someone. THERE IS NO NEED TO REPEAT IT EVERY TIME YOU'RE ON THE FUCKING CAMERA!!! We get it!

The thing that bugs me the most about this is that the women they've chosen to be on the show, while cute and outgoing, have horrible self images. And I know it's not easy to have a fabulous self-esteem when you weigh more than everyone else... believe me, I KNOW... but seriously? Every single one of them talked about their downfalls in life, and how much they just wanted to "find someone who will love me for who I am and not how I look." We know you want to find someone, we all do, but that's why you're on a reality TV dating show. Right? It's one thing to be honest and open... another to be unflatteringly desparate!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll watch all the episodes just to see how it turns out, but God help me, I may lose my nerve in the meantime!

I just got home from shopping at Ulta. Sometimes I love that store, sometimes I hate it. And I just realized my hand smells like weed. Could it be some of the product I tried? Who knows, but that's what I'm going with.

Anyway, I bought a new diffuser for my hair. (At this point, I realize I've probably lost the men.) It's called the Deva Curl Diffuser (or the Deva Fuser, I'm not sure) and it's supposed to be fabulous. It's shaped like a hand and blows the air in 360 degrees around your head, as opposed to blowing in one spot (I know how dirty that sounds, and yes, I'm going for the double entendre). (Quick lesson for the dudes - if they're still reading - a diffuser "diffuses" the air from a hair dryer so that curly hair doesn't get frizzy when it's dried.) I'm excited to try it out and see how it works. And because it was $35, it better work like fucking magic! If not, I'm taking it back! I also bought the DevaCurl Mist-er Right... I'll let you know how I like it. You should check out their website and read about their "No Poo" shampoo.

Have any of you tried any of the Deva line, or know someone who has? Lemme know!

Well, I'm off to take a nap. I'm home early from work and I'm exhausted... my bed is calling me. I need to find some energy because I have to make dinner tonight. Home made marinara sauce, meaballs and fresh mozzarella. I'll let you know how it goes!