La Douche Baguette (The Douche Bag)

Rivalry. We all know what it is. We all know what it feels like. And we all know how good it feels when our team wins.

Yesterday was the biggest Utah football rivalry game of the season. The University of Utah Utes vs. the BYU Cougars (and just know, it takes A LOT for me to type the name of their team, much less include it one of my blog posts). And it was, for the most part, a mediocre game. The Utes scored a few field goals in the first quarter, the other team scored a touchdown. The 2nd and 3rd quarters were largely unremarkable and therefore, pretty boring to watch. Especially because the other team outscored us for the majority of the game.

Finally, in the fourth quarter, the Utes came back and tied the score with a touchdown first and then field goal in the last 35 seconds of the game. The other team didn't score and forced the game into overtime. The Utes got the ball first and scored a field goal (3 points). In the NCAA rules, both teams get a shot with the ball, so when the other team had their shot, they scored a touchdown (6 points) and we lost the game. Yeah, it hurts to lose, especially after we've had such a great season, but our team lost with dignity.

I'd like to say the other team won with dignity, but I can't, and here's why. After the game, the other team's quarterback, Max Hall, spoke at a press conference. And the shit that spewed out of his mouth disgusts me. He went on to say, "...I don't like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, I hate their fans, I hate everything...I think the whole university, their fans and their organization is classless. They threw beer on my family and stuff last year, and they did a whole bunch of nasty things, and I don't respect them, and they deserved to lose." (By the way, beer is not sold at EITHER stadium, so I'd like to know where it came from). You can read the full article here.

Nice way for an athlete to represent himself, his team and his school. Way to be respectful, douche, and show what an upstanding citizen you are. Just know that with behavior like that you'll never get drafted, and you'll end up a washed up has-been by the time you're 25. Unless of course, you're already 25 because you decided to go on a mission, get married and have a few kids first, before you went to school to get your degree and play football.

Some of you may be thinking, "Jeez, Erica, you're doing the same thing he did." And you know what? Yes, I am. But I'm not in the public eye, and I don't represent anyone but myself.

Needless to say, I think the guy, along with the whole school and its fans, are shmucks. The Utes are dignified winners, and the Cougars are not. The Utes are also dignified losers, the Cougars are not. No matter if the Cougars win or lose, they always proceed to bad-talk the Utes, and frankly, I'm getting sick of it.

Max Hall and the rest of the team can kiss my ass. I hope he gets jumped in a dark alley and is drowned in beer. And I hope the Utes KICK THEIR ASSES NEXT YEAR!!!