I'm hoping that maybe by writing about this, I'll somehow start to feel better about what happened. I took Aurs to the ER last night because she was on her 4th day of migraines. On our way back to her house we stopped to get food, and then continued on down State Street. We had just passed under the I-80 overpass and unfortunately, my worst driving fear came true. I hit a kitty. Even as I write this I'm trying not to think about it too hard so I don't start crying again.
Initially after it happened, I didn't shed a tear. I think I was in shock, not believing that it really happened. After I left Auri's and was on my way home, I started crying and couldn't stop bawling the whole way. When I walked in the door my mom asked me what was wrong and I burst into tears again. I don't know if I've ever felt so horrible about something before in my entire life! When I drove back past the scene, I didn't see Mr. Kitty in the road, so I'm hoping and praying with all my heart that I just roughed him up a little and that he's ok. I hope. If not, I hope he went quickly because it tears me apart to think that I caused him any pain or suffering.
I hope no one thinks any less of me. I seriously want to crawl into a hole right now and not come out for a long time!
**Update: Auri drove by the scene and confirmed the kitty died. :(
Monday, February 9, 2009
I Feel So Awful
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11 comments:
I am so sorry! When I hit a deer, I couldn't drive for a week! I was terrified. When Maddie and I went to Torrey a couple of years ago, I killed a bird, it literally ran into us, and I cried for several miles with Maddie making fun of me because I was so upset about a suicidal bird, but it sucks and you feel like such a shitty person, but know that you are not a bad person and I still love you tons!
Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry! I hit a doggie once and nearly died from freaking out (doggie was ok though). I'm glad the kitty didn't suffer too much, your heart is just too big! Love you too! Glad Auri is doing better too.
Cats are pretty amazing, don't forget they have 9 lives!!
They are also rather daft and unpredictable when it comes to crossing roads!! I'm sure they close their eyes and run thinking if they cannot see the car then it's obviously not there!!
It's an awful feeling when you hit something, big hugs xx
aww... i'm sorry. don't beat yourself up over it. the cat shouldn't have been in the street.
i hit a dog once. right in front of its owner. the stupid thing ran out into the middle of the street right in front of my car. he made it, my car on the other hand...
Oh that's such a horrible, unlucky thing to happen. I really feel for you. It's not your fault at all. I hope you feel a bit better soon x
Oh, dear! Poor, dumb kitty! Why do animals run in front of cars?! Poor things just don't have a clue :( Not your fault though.
Erica, I don't have your email, so I thought I would comment. I want acces to thfgirl!!!! How have you been doing?
I am sure the cat is fine, they have 9 lives, remember??
It was awful! Bad enough I had just gotten out of the ER and was drugged... we both just thought it was a plastic bag blowing across the road. Bad news though... and yes, erica already knows... kitty didn't make it. I had to go back and check. But from the look of things it was fast. I still want to vomit just thinking of it.
Oh Erica, how awful. I am so sorry. I would be bawling to. It probably won't make you feel any better, but it really wasn't your fault.
Thanks for all of your well wishes and sympathy, girls. The guilt is lessening a bit day by day. I still feel horrible, though. Oh well, such is life!
Oh Ms. Salti, hitting animals is a traumatic thing for us animal lovers. My friends and I hit a dog in high school that had already been run over a few times and was still alive. It was dark and the dog was black so it was a total accident. To this day I still get teary when I think about it. If it helps, a friend of Katie's saw a pet psychic once and she told her sometimes cats commit suicide. Let's look at your incident as such. It's freezing outside so the kitty wanted a warm comfy place. Don't feel bad my friend.
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