It's Time For Me

Something has become very apparent to me in the last week or two... I don't put ME first. And really, if I don't put myself first, who else will? I don't think it's in the slightest way selfish to think that I deserve to come first in my own life. I have no husband. No children. No one else that relies on me to put them first and ensure thier needs are met. So why is it so damn hard to put myself first?

All too often I'm overly concerned with how everyone else in my life is doing. Are they ok? Do they have enough love and support? Do they have enough money? Have I spent enough time with them lately? Do they need my emotional support? What else could I possibly do to make this person's life better? Well you know what? I never ask that of myself. And that has to stop now.

Keep in mind, I'm not talking about one person in particular, just a series of events that has helped me realize that not everyone supports me in the same ways I support them. And if you're reading this, don't think this song is about you. It's not.

I've been feeling a lot lately like my life is spinning out of control. There are certain things that I don't have a grasp on and I feel like they're slowly killing me. The particular issues may not be, but the stress because of them is. It has to stop. Now. I'm not getting any younger and these issues aren't going to resolve themselves.

Much of this is coming out because I've had a pretty rough week thus far and it's only Tuesday. But it sometimes it takes an event or two to put things in perspective.

Also, I know how often I'm told to talk about things (with whomever; friends, family) but sometimes talking is the absolute last thing I want to do. And the more I'm pushed, the more I shut down. So do me a favor and don't ask... don't push me. I don't want to talk right now.
And a little ditty to make me laugh... not you, me. How's that for coming back from a week-long break???