This is Hardly Party Conversation

I hate that I don't know what to think anymore. I hate that one tiny, insignificant action on the part of someone else stirs up such a whirlwind of emotions for me. I hate that I question the ‘what-ifs’ every freaking day of my life. I try so hard not to live in the past or the future, and try to stay as present as possible, but it’s hard to keep my mind from wandering and thinking about things that could have been. I hate that there are people in my life that I end up thinking about every single day. Why can’t I just get you off my mind? Honesty is one of the greatest gifts one person can give to another, but only if the other person can in fact, handle it.

I appreciate that I’ve grown so much emotionally in the last five years, but I hate that it took so much hard work to get here. Why is being happy such a struggle sometimes? Being the nice guy gets you nowhere anymore, yet lying and cheating your way through life doesn't exactly work either. Hard work doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll make it to the top these days and sadly, an education doesn’t guarantee that you’ll succeed. There are so many great things in my life that I’m truly thankful for, and so many others that, given the opportunity, I’d change in an instant.