I'm Such a Cliche

I mentioned in one of my posts last week that I went out on a date with a new guy. I didn't go into detail about it or bother to mention that we had a second date planned because I didn't want to jinx it. Now you're going to get the story because I need to get it off my chest and move on. I saw this on FB the other day on my friend Brooke's profile and it really spoke to me. I'm trying to remember these things right now.

Just so you know, I'm getting really sick and tired of writing about how many jackasses I meet!

So the first date was the day before VDay. We went to dinner and then to a movie and had a really great time. Or at least I thought we did. During the next few days I asked if he wanted to get together in the coming week and he said yes. I offered to cook dinner at my house and suggested we could watch a movie. He said Thursday night worked best for him and I called him on Wednesday night to confirm.

I cleaned the house, got dinner ready, then sat here and cried for the rest of the night after he didn't show up.

After having so many bad dating experiences, it's hard not to wonder what's wrong with me. Everyone tells me how wonderful I am, but it's hard to see that when I'm treated the way I am by all these assholes!

A message to him:
You didn't show up for dinner... seriously? That was probably the worst anyone has made me feel in a really long time. You don't even have the decency to call and say you're not coming, you're not intersted, this isn't going anywhere?

You just decided to ditch me and then cut off all communication out of the blue? I don't understand how we went from communicating every day for almost two weeks to you just flat out standing me up and disappearing.

At first I thought something might have happened and I'd get a call or a text in the next day. Nothing. And now I see that your profile picture has changed on the dating site so I know something horrible didn't happen to you, you're just a giant douche bag with no fucking manners.

Grow some fucking balls. Have the gumption to tell me you're not interested. Don't lead me on. Don't give me false hope. Don't tell me I'm beautiful and then make me feel like a piece of shit. The least you could have done was give me an answer as to why. I think I deserve at least that much.

Why do I feel like I'm constantly writing letters to men who are assholes? Why do I get treated so horribly by guys? I honestly don't understand it. It hurts. It makes me question myself. It makes me question humanity in general.

Auri gave me some good advice after crying my eyes out to her the other night... other peoples' negative behavior has nothing to do withme or who I am, but everything to do with their general lack of decency and/or manners. Putting the situation into perspective that way helped a lot.

I find myself not wanting to tell anyone (best friends, mom, etc.) about any new guys I meet or any dates I may go on because they all end so badly. Getting stood up the other night made me feel like the biggest fucking cliche. The stupid girl who falsely gets her hopes up only to be crushed by the guy who she thought was interested. If I don't tell anyone about it initially, then I don't have to tell them that it didn't work out and save myself the pity party.

Anyway, I think I'm done bitching. There's probably more I wanted to say but can't remember it. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I could use a little advice right now!