When the Freaks Come Out...

I had a bit of a hellish week last week, so on Saturday night I wanted to go out and let loose. Apparently that was everyone else in Salt Lake's idea as well because Noelle, Rose, Jenn and I were witness to some of the strangest/funniest people watching EVER! Here's a little run down...

• First of all, there was a chick dressed up in a naughty Santa outfit who was apparently trying out for her first porno movie. She was grinding all over and humping EVERYTHING! It was gross. We decided not to touch anything she'd come in contact with for obvious reasons.
• Then there was an old man (who I felt totally sorry for) who was there with his oxygen tank walking around with it on his shoulder and a scotch in his hand.


• Next we had the man who, every time a techno song came on, would whip out his led lights and twirl them around like he was at a rave... then he would ever-so-slyly turn them off and slip them back in his pockets when the song ended.


• There was a group of three women there together who looked like the Witches of Eastwick. Very strange women... and when they climbed up on the stage to dance, we got mooned by 3/4 of the big girl's butt crack (when I say big girl, she was my size). Have some self-respect, woman! Wear clothes that fit and pull up your effing pants!
• There was a couple there that I'm pretty sure were having sex right on the dance floor. The woman was about 40 and had her boobs pushed up so far they almost touched her chin... and she was wearing a halter top that cut down so low not much was left to the imagination. She was dancing with a man who was at least 60 years old.. he'd lift her up on his lap so she was straddling him and they just humped their way around the floor. Ewww!


• There was a chick there in a little blue dress that barely covered the cheeks of her ass... she had nothing on underneath!


• There was also a dude there who looked like he'd been electrocuted. Instead of having a traditional mohawk that goes from front to back, his hair was basically a horizontal mohawk in front. I couldn't stop laughing.
• Dont' forget about the couple that decided to make out RIGHTNEXTTOOURTABLE for at least a good 5 minutes without coming up for air. I kept waiting for him to undo his pants.


• There was another dude who would just stand on the stairs to the side of the stage with a really creepy grin on his face and clap his hands... golf-clap style.


• Our favorite guy who stretches and wears knee pads was there. He was dancing his usual crazy style but it got better that night. When the song "G6" came on, he would make a G and a 6 with his hands every time it was said in the song. Weirdo!


• There were two women there who had to be in their forties that were smashed beyond belief. There was one in the tube top who was the worst off and I kept waiting for her to barf. She stumbled all over the place and I don't know how she didn't get kicked out.


• Finally, there was a woman who had been dancing on the back stage and when she decided she was done, she went to get down by climbing over the back railing (which is actually very low)... except she missed her footing and fell on her ass.

Needless to say, it was a very entertaining night. No alcohol was needed. We just sat at our table in disbelief and laughed at all the crazy people!

How were your weekends? See anyone interesting?